#Mentoo - York Region's Forgotten Homeless

Sam Orrico has struggled years now with housing

Christmas came and went, then New Year's and for most of Canada life carried on as it had previously, with most of us convinced we'd done our part during the festive season giving to our loved ones and to the "poor".

But for some, there is no back to normal. For some a life of misery, at least for the foreseeable future, remains. Like the now senior farmer who tires from fighting just to have land to "farm" and now lives alone in a trailer with off the grid heat.

But so too do some youth struggle to survive in this often unforgiving society that seems to more easily accept a sentence of homelessness to males.

In a sort of reverse way our system often seems to, unwittingly perhaps through past patriarchal thinking, give less treatment and attention to men's and boys issues. One needs look only at the programs and services available. For example, there is no "men's centre" - yet a long established women's centre - and shelter beds available to women outnumber the men over 3 to 1 yet men and males make up the bulk of the actual street homeless.There are also 0 transitional houses for men yet we have units for women.

In fact, a 2017 Toronto / York Region United Way survey found a full 100% of York Region's street homeless without any supports whatsoever were male. Compile that with studies showing males commit  suicide in 80% of all cases and one wonders why a crisis has not been declared and political champions not speaking out outraged? #Mentoo ?

Our outdated social safety net system seems to regard these men as expendable? Indeed they are from my experience often simply given bus tickets to take them somewhere else, like Toronto, where last year over 70 men - over 90% - were found to have died (decades) early as a result of having lived on the streets, as of only November. No inquiry? And we cannot be so naive as to think York Region men aren't part of those death statistics when our lone full time York Region's men's shelter of 26 beds is full 100% of the time. Ditto its 12 bed youth shelter in Newmarket, Ontario, Canada.

So, as we all continue on and pat each other on the back about what a great job we're doing, maybe just stop a minute and take a good look, and if in conscience you can say we are, then so be it. More men will simply die. Are these men deserving of programs and homes? You decide.

Pictured is a sample of "thank-yous" sent out after a donation for presents to a York Region male youth shelter over Christmas of 2017 and donated by a local business, Stellar Car Wash.

Editors note: One person had never had an Xmas present before. 

Inn From The Cold passes dignity test

I stopped into a public building with restrooms recently on my travels and while there it sounded like a meeting or gathering was happening inside...but when a guy has to go he has to go. The distinct odour of alcohol could be smelled in the air (jeepers I'm sounding like a cop!) as the foursome chatted, quieting to respectful tones upon seeing me enter.

I used the stall even though I didn't have to go number two and almost immediately the chatter came back up a level, the one semi-level headed guy in the group shushing them, as I envisioned him motioning to his lips whilst nodding towards the stall I occupied. He stopped still another guy from lighting up a smoke inside the warm confines of the public bathroom. I'd ascertained by then the group was likely homeless, their clothes and disposition helping somewhat in that assumption.


As I walked outside, the four stood smoking, one in a cast, all ranging in ages from 20,s to fifty. They were a ragtag group that watched out for one another while staying at the Inn from the Cold where they emphasized the volunteers there are great. They didn't like staying there or having to, but that those that man the place, treated them with dignity and respect - not so at Porter House (York Region's only full time men's shelter) though they almost angrily declared in unison. And at least one had camped near it when refused a spot there.

They were less than thrilled with the treatment they receive at Porter and the 'clientele" described as often abusing drugs, stealing their stuff or trying to rob them...and so they formed a little clique while now staying over at the Inn From the Cold shelter and challenged the evening before when someone tried to make off with their back packs in the pouring rain whilst taking shelter from it at the bridge, one breaking his hand in the ensuing chase while retrieving his dropped bundle.

" If I was you guys, I'd come out here to smoke otherwise what they'll do is clamp down on you. If you always come outside they won't bother you" I offered as I walked up to them.

" It's warm in there. We just go in there to get warm during the day sometimes, "Jim", said, " we wouldn't light up in there" forgetting likely I was inside when they almost did.

"I hear ya", I replied, " But that's just it, some people will just smell the smoke, not know who it was, and they'll start closing it up or stop you from using it. This way they won't ever bother you."

And it went from there as I chatted with them for some time whilst my order of fish and chips at nearby malt & chips shop where I'd ordered for my mom, awaited me.


Within no time these guys trusted me and were sharing personal stories. One who's mother'd died, which he really hadn't dealt with - you could feel as he spoke about it -  and had come to Newmarket to be near his father, two others who'd been raised in children's aid and who'd been abused...another I suspected had more mental health than addictions issues and much older than the others. The four amigos watching out for themselves, because they have no homes. And when Inn From The Cold closes for the season they will again be out in the cold at night.

I mentioned a documentary crew was nearby doing a piece on addictions and that I myself had done a documentary style series on a homeless father and son in Newmarket that had a happy ending and had generated a story about them in the papers that saw many show they wanted to help. The 2011 article generated more reaction than any in history I was told and in fact they revisited the article again in a discussion piece written in August 2015.

The guys went on to also tell me how, for example one being from Brampton, how they felt the people were special here as well as the town'

" When I came here (Newmarket) people actually say hi to you as you're walking down the street. I thought that was just great. The people are great here."

The 36 year old had worked 10 years for one company and worked up to forklift supervisor before things fell apart. when his mom died he seems he never recovered. another gave me his now tattered business card, holding out hope of restarting again.

They were very interested in what I had to say and engaging me, seeming to sense that I believed in these guys without judging them.And these guys all had good hearts, make no mistake. Semi-drunk or not. sure, they'd fallen perhaps, and far even but they need help - and not just for alcohol but for the abuse they've suffered and the other to get through losing his mom, possibly alone through it all but before ANY of that, they need a home, otherwise this desperate cycle of shelter to street to shelter to streets will surely, slowly, be killing them.

The contractor walked with me to the fish and chips place offering up himself if I needed a story to focus on these issues or for the newspaper, but I always take these offers at face value and wait and see if in their totally sober moments they still feel the same, as it's not an easy thing to have your face put to a homeless problem and I like to make sure they know that. also the newspapers don't always have their best interests in mind but rather the story. They don't often care about them but they care about a story.

This 30ish man just wants help is my thought and has no idea where to get it. I hope he hasn't pinned his hopes on me and the one happy ending I'd shared with him.

They're men. People. Human beings. And I swear to you they are salvageable, good people. Just like you! Click here to see TP's docu-piece on a homeless father and son.

TP out

Search for Missing Newmarket Man Turns Up Need

York Region Police circle area

With the recent episode of a 26 year old man going missing in Newmarket, Ontario recently, and subsequently found deceased and foul play not suspected - covered by YOURKnews & EVENTS - it brought back into my mind a fact I'd come across recently in an article stating that a new study found men are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than women in the U.K. and U.S..

With some quick research, I discovered the same study found that the suicide rate was ten times higher in men of lower socioeconomic status than in affluent men. These are staggering facts that should jump off the page at us. One has to wonder both why that is, and what can be done about it?

Local kid oblivious to searchers behind him

Some believe it's because of the added pressure men have of being masculine, strong. As one put it, girls and boys both cry evenly up until the age of 8 or 9 when boys are shamed to stop, resulting in boys to men holding in their emotions and not having adequate releases. In my day we called them wimps.

In York Region we have few supports for men and certainly we need to make the ones we have user friendly and easy to locate and approach. Men traditionally having a hard time admitting or seeking help may need family and friends to look out for the signs and offer encouragement towards them getting the help they need. In fact stats support their being more women diagnosed with depression and mental illness so how can men be killing themselves in such higher numbers?

Command Post, Jokers Hill, Newmarket

Unfortunately, in the case of the missing Newmarket man, although he had been possibly identified from bus cameras traveling to Union Station in Toronto, with the finding of his body near the area they'd been searching by a man walking his dog, there is no chance. let's not let his death be in vain as we need more for assisting men in crisis than 310 - C.O.P.E.

It showed one thing though, the police have their methodology through experience and stayed the course diligently while family and friends and indeed an entire community that cares stood by wanting to help. And one which if it really cares, will become proactive to minimize the needs for searches for distraught men in the future.

I purposely have left the person's name out of this article as the need to know time has passed and so his families healing can begin. Townsfolk can still help and help all the other men out there that may be in need of help by lobbying the Region of York for more supports for men, whether through men's centres, programs, or proper medical support and we can minimize those odds. Let's give these men in silent crisis a chance to live.

This recent TPE Film suits the subject...and we can write the ending!

Later

TP